I have a podcast now!

Yesterday, in the early hours of the morn the You Are The Art podcast was born.

Weighing in at 30 min 44 sec and despite a husky voice from practicing my battle cry the night before

(have you ever done this? I highly recommend!!)

this candid chat that is episode one elaborated on the theme of the podcast.

Like many creative endeavours this has been a struggle from conception to delivery... changing names a few times, presenting breech position right before the due date... we can go on with the parallels between birthing a baby and birthing a podcast. Hahaa

But here it is!

For those interested in my vulnerable background story, I really hit a wall with this podcast for a very long time.

There was always SOMETHING stopping me... and even now I feel very vulnerable with my voice out there chatting away... isn't it funny how we have this default which projects the worst and stops us before we begin...

I think my greatest fear in sharing my expression is this idea that I'm unintelligent. (We all know where that comes from.... thanks left-brain-dominant education)... fear of the judgement of not being intelligent enough, or suave enough or relevant enough... too cliche, too repetitive, too "woo-woo" .

Fear of judgement tends to stop me even before I begin.

I have managed to push through for the most part, with my art, because I have seen PLENTY of times that my fear of judgement is like fearing a toothless, clawless tiger.

I have seen that when I hold my breath and hit "POST" that the reception is actually very positive and empowering.

But change up the medium (canvas to podcast) and I have to tackle it all again.

Waiting to "feel ready".

Waiting for the neighbour to finish mowing their lawn.

Waiting for "the right advice", or "the right tech setup", waiting for my nose to unblock (lol - for real)

And then once my nasal passage is clear and the kids are quiet and no neighbours are mowing their lawn but still - ARGH!

What is it?!

This feels so awkward and I don't want to feel awkward right now.

I don't want to have to worry about how anything will sound... how many "ums" or throat clearings I need to edit out.

I am afraid I'll lose my train of thought.

Or even worse... that I'll be misunderstood.

What I loved about noticing all these thoughts and objections is that - WOAH!! - I can empathize WAY better with those who have the same fear of painting!!

These are the very real fears of anyone learning something new.

And THIS is where the gold is found.

To powerfully push through the fear we focus not on how we will be perceived (usually some nightmarish worst-case-scenario!) but on how we can serve those who have less than we do.

So I have not recorded this podcast for anyone who is going to be criticising my content or the husky voice I had that day... it's not actually for them.

This podcast is for those who are hungry to find a way forward, to sift the sentences and find what's gold to them.

It's for the ones who have been suffering without knowing how powerful and wonderful they are in their creativity.

This story must be told and now is the time.

After many attempts at speaking from notes and editing it all, I canned all of that performance and just recorded 30 minutes of me chatting away about what has fed me deeply... what hurt me and what made me come alive. There's even tears.

I didn't play it back.

I just hit "publish" and that was that.

As I posted about in on Instagram I noticed myself squirm.

Again the "what if people think awful things about me?!" thoughts surface and I almost retract.

Then when comments start appearing "oooh can't wait to listen..." etc I get nervous again.

Maybe I should have listened back through at least once before publishing?! "You might have too big a pause somewhere or something you shouldn't have said... you might ramble too much or

LOL - Do you see?!

I don't think we are every completely free of this A-HOLE inner critic but we can get ourselves used to barreling on regardless.

I did listen back over my podcast once it was published.

I thought how none of this self-conscious second-guessing comes through and that's because I recorded it while in Flow. You know, Flow? That heavenly state of function likened to eagles riding the warm updrafts - the thermals - and they can soar effortlessly using their purposefully designed features.

In Flow state the painting practically paints itself while you're just hanging out with it.

I really think there's something to this...

Perhaps if we weren't so scheduled all the time... if we had room to daydream and potter about we may have better access to Flow.

Flow is such a tremendously efficient state to be in.

I can find myself caught up by it in the most unlikely of moments and so much can happen simultaneously which is difficult to put into words., but everything seems to happen in quantum or something..

At any rate, I hope Flow happens often with my podcast recording. I also hope you experience some quality Flow time after us chatting about it.

It gives SO MUCH MORE than it takes!

So…

If you don’t mind…

Please tell me how it makes you feel.
Are there any quotes which jump out?

Any questions which pop up?

If you end up with an inspiring charge of positivity please share this episode with friends and on social media... spread the love.

Also, if there are any topics you'd like me to delve into I'm all ears. Just comment in the comment section below.

OH! I almost forgot… here is the link to my podcast. Haha

Peace.

Love Ange x